It's a different time for millennial moms. Gone is our parents generation, and their social pressure of following the crowd to the tee. Sure there's always going to be some social pressure, but a be-yourself, anti-bullying vibe has permeated today's culture. It's affected many of our life choices, down to the names of the next generation.
We won't be made to fall in line as easily. You can find millennial women casting down "fat shaming" as well as "skinny shaming", with mother's telling the world I'll breastfeed where I want to, and for as long as I want. And what does that look like when such a spirit of don't-tread-on-me uniqueness is carried over to the world of baby names?
"Different" names are very accepted now, and even celebrated!
Here's a shocker: if you name the kid Ebenezer, or Zyra.... they actually likely will never be made fun of for their name. (But probly for other things - kids are still jerks).
There were the Vicki's, Richard's, Diane's, Terry's and Sue's of our moms's generation... back then no one dared buck the system in the baby-name department. This would've been social murder for your child. Why would you be cruel and do such a thing? That was the 50's...but even in the 80's you still just didn't wanna go there Sure this country had religious freedom, but baby-naming freedom back then? You will be persecuted.
There weren't actual laws about names but, the accepted traditional customs and usages of social groups were clear-cut and operating outside of them was socially punishable.
Case in point, My uncle's name is Bruno (after a famous 1800's Canadian ancestor of ours). He grew up in a small Minnesota town with zero diversity. He was made fun of so badly that he had to switch high schools. My aunt was also teased for having the middle name "Elvira". Wasn't my grandma super creative? Love her.
That was then. Sorry about that baby boomers. The moms walking around currently care way more about their kid's potential food allergies than a name ranking. People nowadays are much more open-minded in the name game - gives you hope for humanity right?
So fast forward to now. It's 2017, and my boys live in a rural area in Minnesota as well with very little diversity. My son's kindergarten class had a kid named "Petron" (yes like the alcohol) and no one bats an eye. The boy my son hung out with the most was named "Kale". Who cares? No one. Aren't we happy times have changed now? You can name your kid what you want - Yay! Weird or unique is even becoming a popular thing, as noticed by Time Magazine.
We want different names. We may not have liked being number 3 in a classroom. My name is Emily and I found that incredibly boring. We want interesting names. The exotic is not to be feared.
Let us partially thank the normative power of celebrity status which has helped push odd names toward glorification. Miley, Bruno, Adelle, Scarlett and Isla could be weird, but celebrity status have given those names the A-okay/go-ahead. More reason why odd and unheard of is now cool, accepted, and becoming an actual social norm in our society.
Although if you do choose a rare gem; def expect some eye-brow raises and a few brazenly rude comments from grandparents. Course in their defense, they grew up under stricter social mores of conformity, and it was pounded into their skulls. Don't be different.
Recently when I revealed the rare name I just chose for my unborn daughter, my 61-year-old family relative (who shall not be named) chuckled at my choice and had this to say: "Remember Emily - you're not Jewish and you're not black." Haha, yes this was an actual statement made.
Sometimes you just have to laugh off the out-dated (or inappropriate) things the older generation has to say. This coming from a relative who named her kids names like Sarah, Benjamin, and Matthew (all Hebrew)... but it seems naming my first daughter Hadassah, was just a little too ethnic - too Jewish. And now apparently, I'm told by this relative) the name Sapphire is "ghetto" (which would've been wrong?). I think it's gorgeous, but if it is ghetto, I, ah... don't care. (Here's an interesting article on that btw).
There is nothing new about the rigidity and judgmental nature of the elders. It's made fun of in sitcoms and multi-generational comedies everywhere - because it's actully kinda funny. It's common across the board, every culture can relate to it and just laugh. What IS new is that our peers in THIS generation are accepting each other's name choices well. And we're not allowing our children to make fun of rare names. Many people are choosing "ethnic-sounding" names now outside of their own ethnicity. I know a little blonde white boy at my gym whose name is "Diego", and another boy with zero anglo-saxon blood in his veins whose name is "Ivan".
I don't think the older generations even see themselves as the judgy people they can come off as. She was maybe trying to protect my unborn from future bullying. Can anyone tell me what kind of social situation took place in that convo? Here you have it in plain view folks: a generational gap.
The former generation isn't aware that we no longer need the protection of sameness when it comes to naming our spawn.
Still, like the Jennifer's and Jessica's of the 70's, this generation naturally has our own top 10 popular names. You can name your kid Liam or Noah... Emma or Sophia. You can go with the whole Hayden-Aiden-Cayden-Jadin-thing too. It's just that that you can also go down the 'no-one-has-heard-of-that-name' road without fearing your kid will get boo'd off the playground harassed on the bus. It's whatever floats your boat, and that is to be celebrated!
A rare gem ;) I see what you did there.
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