Er - Friday? Ok it's totally Friday and not Thursday anymore.. but I'm still doing a Thankful Thursday this week.
I'm thankful I'm not perfect ok?
1. Country. Life. Yesterday morning I was nursing my baby in bed when the dog barked. The neighbor lady had rolled up our dirt driveway on her lawnmower with her 4 yr old grand-daughter asking to take my boys over to her yard. "My damn workers haven't shown up and we're spose to do beets today. Anyway, here's some onions and there's blueberries in that bag. Go on Jayden give her the bag!" Two pints of fat juicy berries. I love it out here. It's growing on me due to the people. I feel more community out here than I did in Burnsville where I was elbow to elbow with people.
2. The Goodwill. I had a TON of bags to take there on Saturday. Of course they give you a 25% off coupon when you donate so I thought what the heck. Oh my gosh I found surprisingly great stuff. The cutest skirt from target with the tags still on, another dress, shoes, and brand new picture frames in their original packaging.
Finally my living room wall doesn't look so hideous and blank. Been wanting to go buy frames for what I had printed but just hadn't gotten around to it. Now that pictures of our children are up it doesn't look like we broke in and just squat here. So that's cool.
3. My sweet husband. On Tuesday, he told me he had something for me. He came home with a huge pretty mirror that someone was getting rid of at one of his remodeling jobs. It's sage green and Looks like a window with 6 window panes but it's a mirror. Really opens up our kitchen.
I was changing Hadassah's diaper and said "Oh my gosh I LOVE IT!!!" - and behold, her first humungous belly-laugh. I then said that the exact same way 50 more times. At some point in there she just started looking at me like I'm crazy.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
When God Moves...
Ever wonder why God chooses to help us out when He does?
We had something unexplainable happen two weeks ago. All these bills hit at the same time and a huge $700 unforeseen bill as well that shouldn't have hit us - we weren't gonna be able to get groceries that week. Fridge almost empty and we have three small children. We prayed together for help. We needed money now.
That weekend my husband went and helped his brother remodel his new home. His brother then gave my husband $400. Just cuz - knowing nothing about our problems. It isn't like anyone just suddenly gives us money like that - it was so weird! But def God.
For whoever wants to know why is life so unfair, I would just ask, how comfortable are you with ambiguity? Do you have to know all the answers to everything all the time? I mean is it a must? Ask yourself if that is even possible, because it's not.
We had something unexplainable happen two weeks ago. All these bills hit at the same time and a huge $700 unforeseen bill as well that shouldn't have hit us - we weren't gonna be able to get groceries that week. Fridge almost empty and we have three small children. We prayed together for help. We needed money now.
That weekend my husband went and helped his brother remodel his new home. His brother then gave my husband $400. Just cuz - knowing nothing about our problems. It isn't like anyone just suddenly gives us money like that - it was so weird! But def God.
That day we went and got groceries and diapers. When things like this happen, even though we have prior experience with God helping us out, we will look at each other and go "Whoa! Do you think that was God or just coincidence?"
Looking back though (and in my heart) I always know - that was God. But I think we doubt and wonder because it seems so outrageous that such a big God would care about tiny people like us. It's only natural. And also there's the fact that we can't exactly physically see God. There's a lot of wonderment for sure. But can we accept a little mystery? That is definitely a question here.
Maybe sometimes it's just hard to accept... God did this for me.
I believe that He is willing to just meet us where we're at...since He cares about us. Whenever something epic and totally unexplainable happens like this in my life, I feel like He is trying to get my attention. He wants to show me His love.
I have had people ask me this one. My response is that I know of people like this too. I know people who seem like they have all the money in the world (relatively) and are totally blessed. People who will go on vacations often to an extremely poor country - where they never help the suffering while there. This sickens me. Yet they have it all. Yes I myself have thought,
I try to help anyone I see but we always have money problems. Why is that? How is that fair?
"life's not fair" won't cut it. There is suffering. We want answers. I think it's okay to ask questions. I think God is big enough for that. Did He not make us with brains? Surely He knew we would at some point look around us and wonder, why. God knows I'm gonna notice that He helped me with groceries but what about that kid over there who just died of cancer....
Looking back though (and in my heart) I always know - that was God. But I think we doubt and wonder because it seems so outrageous that such a big God would care about tiny people like us. It's only natural. And also there's the fact that we can't exactly physically see God. There's a lot of wonderment for sure. But can we accept a little mystery? That is definitely a question here.
Maybe sometimes it's just hard to accept... God did this for me.
I believe that He is willing to just meet us where we're at...since He cares about us. Whenever something epic and totally unexplainable happens like this in my life, I feel like He is trying to get my attention. He wants to show me His love.
I've spoken with many people on this topic and heard a lot of what if's and how do you know's. So here is some Devil's advocate for you: But I know (insert name) who has it all. They are a non-believer and do not seem to care about others. Yet they have all of the comforts that this life affords. It's not fair. So what about them?
I have had people ask me this one. My response is that I know of people like this too. I know people who seem like they have all the money in the world (relatively) and are totally blessed. People who will go on vacations often to an extremely poor country - where they never help the suffering while there. This sickens me. Yet they have it all. Yes I myself have thought,
I try to help anyone I see but we always have money problems. Why is that? How is that fair?
"life's not fair" won't cut it. There is suffering. We want answers. I think it's okay to ask questions. I think God is big enough for that. Did He not make us with brains? Surely He knew we would at some point look around us and wonder, why. God knows I'm gonna notice that He helped me with groceries but what about that kid over there who just died of cancer....
For whoever wants to know why is life so unfair, I would just ask, how comfortable are you with ambiguity? Do you have to know all the answers to everything all the time? I mean is it a must? Ask yourself if that is even possible, because it's not.
I for one do not need every answer all the time. For those totally unanswerable situations, I believe in what I have read in the bible where it says that blessings and curses fall on the good and the bad alike, But I also believe that everyone's day of judgment will come - dead or alive. I may not see all of my rewards here on earth. It's cool with me. I'm not pissed at God for it. The bible also says not to envy the wicked when they prosper and seem to have it all. Like the story of Lazarus and the two rich vs poor men - they have their comfort now - in the here and now. Let them. Things will get real fair in the end. I whole-heartedly believe that.
I am so grateful that God chose to help us out last weekend. Sometimes that doesn't happen. We don't know why now, but one day we will and it will all make sense. Presently, we can only see a piece of the tapestry. Someday all will be revealed. For right now, we must be careful not to become bitter when God does not seem to step in in the times we felt He should.
Why did God allow my dad to die when I was 20? This is where humility and realizing our place comes in. My own children don't always understand why I do what I do. One day they will. But for now, my thinking and reasoning abilities are far more advanced than theirs. For now it's just best that they learn to trust me.
I think sometimes a little perspective can help too. Like asking ourselves "wait, what's the purpose of life even? What am I here for again? Oh yeah - it isn't: to have it all and always receive fairness." Sometimes it's just good to remind ourselves of that. The actual reason is to experience a meaningful love-filled relationship with God, and to show that love to others and help where we can.
I am so grateful that God chose to help us out last weekend. Sometimes that doesn't happen. We don't know why now, but one day we will and it will all make sense. Presently, we can only see a piece of the tapestry. Someday all will be revealed. For right now, we must be careful not to become bitter when God does not seem to step in in the times we felt He should.
Why did God allow my dad to die when I was 20? This is where humility and realizing our place comes in. My own children don't always understand why I do what I do. One day they will. But for now, my thinking and reasoning abilities are far more advanced than theirs. For now it's just best that they learn to trust me.
I think sometimes a little perspective can help too. Like asking ourselves "wait, what's the purpose of life even? What am I here for again? Oh yeah - it isn't: to have it all and always receive fairness." Sometimes it's just good to remind ourselves of that. The actual reason is to experience a meaningful love-filled relationship with God, and to show that love to others and help where we can.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Thankful Thursday Vol. 3
1. My husband just got four potential side jobs to go give estimates for. It could total around $10,000. We could really use the money. So happy about that!
2. This is a tough one. My mom's house closes on Saturday. She left last year and sold it from quite a distance away...where she now lives in NM. I only live 20 min away from it. I was born there. My dad died there. I was also homeschooled for 9 years there so I spent more time inside my house than the average kid. I have some great childhood memories there. Tender toddler times with mommy. Amazing moments with my sisters. Fireside stories with dad. But I also have some really really hard memories there. So yeah, part of me is happy that it's going.
I visited yesterday just for closure. It was wierd and difficult.
Another family will move in there on Saturday, with their kids. Wonder who will get my room...what things they'll fix up... But it's good. Yknow, this really motivates me even more to move the hell across the country when we are able. Motivated people!
3. Our neighbors. A neighbor my mother's age has been so kind to me. I took the kids to her house today a quarter mile down the Ol' dirt road. She talked with me about how it's also hard for her to live in the country. We both are city people, while our husbands love the country because they can have their elbow room out here and the freedoms that come with living outside city limits. It was refreshing!
2. This is a tough one. My mom's house closes on Saturday. She left last year and sold it from quite a distance away...where she now lives in NM. I only live 20 min away from it. I was born there. My dad died there. I was also homeschooled for 9 years there so I spent more time inside my house than the average kid. I have some great childhood memories there. Tender toddler times with mommy. Amazing moments with my sisters. Fireside stories with dad. But I also have some really really hard memories there. So yeah, part of me is happy that it's going.
I visited yesterday just for closure. It was wierd and difficult.
Another family will move in there on Saturday, with their kids. Wonder who will get my room...what things they'll fix up... But it's good. Yknow, this really motivates me even more to move the hell across the country when we are able. Motivated people!
3. Our neighbors. A neighbor my mother's age has been so kind to me. I took the kids to her house today a quarter mile down the Ol' dirt road. She talked with me about how it's also hard for her to live in the country. We both are city people, while our husbands love the country because they can have their elbow room out here and the freedoms that come with living outside city limits. It was refreshing!
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
The Reverse Bucket List. You know you want one.
Lack motivation but still wanna feel like you hit some goals? This would be a good place to start. Tell your mom you've got goals.
And maybe check in on your dying day just to make sure you can successfully cross these suckers off, with a sense of pride and accomplishment, knowing that hey - you did right by yourself.
Behold: a list of things I fully intend on never doing.
1. Go to New York. New York City to be exact. I've never been. I feel no great urge to visit Wall Street, the Statue of Liberty, or the Empire State Building. Broadway? Ok you got me there, but it's not worth it when I just picture lots of concrete, bright flashing lights and way too many people.
2. Disney World. Also Disney Land. Though I could actually see wanting to do this pre-kids. Like when it was just Brandon and me. But now? Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
If you have toddlers, you feel me on this... This is a parent's version of hell. (Unless your children are those robotic personality-less types - I've seen them and know they exist!). But let's review the thrills involved for funsies: Hearing your kids have the gimmes during every money-trap, greasy fatty fried food at every turn, lines and more lines for standing around in, losing children, disgusting public bathrooms everywhere, obnoxious life-sized cartoon characters and general sensory overload. The realization that you spent thousands of dollars for this.
3. Climb a Mountain. Any mountain. Hiking in general yes. I just don't need to get to the top.
4. Anything to do with outer space. I hear they don't have air up there.
5. Sky diving. I don't hate myself. So no, jumping out of an airplane has no appeal. Somehow I just don't have that strong urge to exit an aircraft at 20,000 feet. But check back in March if I still live in this God-forsaken state without a vacation. At that point in the year, I usually don't know who I am anymore.
Oh but para-gliding. LOVE that idea.
6. Get a tattoo. I have never had any desire to get me some ink. But don't be offended if you're like, covered in tattoos or something. Stay awhile, let's be friends. And know that part of me does respect your long-term commitment to whatever it was that you got branded on you for life.
7. Go to Vagas. Slot machines. The indoors. A lack of cool history. Just ew.
8. Name a star. Hmmmmmmm... cuz that's not a money trap.
9. Get up before 6:30 every day for two weeks. Or some crap like that. Okay, so at the end of this scenario, I do not look like the winner here. I look... Tired I guess?
10. Own my business. Sounds like a lotta work to me. And math. Not my forte.
11. See the pyramids. I'm almost embarrassed to not care about this one. Yet I don't.
12. Run with the Bulls in Spain. Spain yes, but I feel bad for the poor Bulls (sniff)!
13. Drive a Ferrari. Don't care.
13. Attend Burning Man. Nothing about Nevada appeals to me. A massive party with bands and drugs in the desert? Yay. Not.
I can cross so many of these off my list now, and I feel good about that.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
My Bucket List... Just a Few Things I have yet to do...
I was homeschooled up until High school. Which means I was a total bookworm. Our curriculum had the greatest books. Tales of faraway lands with endless adventures... Fiction, non-fiction. It was all there. These books took place everywhere around the world and described in detail places like Ireland, Egypt, Morocco, Russia. There were so may places I knew I had to see for myself!
Last year when I went with my husband Up North to our family resort (my parents used to take us there yearly since I was ten days old) I found the cabin journal on the mantel - each cabin on the resort has one. Turns out I had written in this one when I was 16. So did my then 18-year-old sister and yes I definitely called her to make fun of her hilarious teenage musings.
So anyway, while pursuing my over-a-decade-old journal entry, I read that I had wanted to travel pretty much everywhere.
Fast-forward to now. I have never been out of the country.
I did go to a private college in the big city like I had wanted, then was very sick and pregnant when I had only two classes left. I never finished those classes and defaulted on my loans. Combine that with a failed business venture - the store my husband and I tried to start-up in Minneapolis when we were 25 (it was fun and we had a good run!) - and well, we've got some debt. Only a little. Up to our eyeballs.
But I still have my dreams! And where there's a will there's a way. Hence, the bucket-list.
1. Move somewhere in the South and live there for awhile. somewhere with dry heat. Nothing humid (go home Miami) Because I live in Minnesota and we live in Winter Land forever.
I just wanna experience a year where we don't have to wear a parka to get to the mailbox for months and then humid summer comes for 2 seconds in the form of a giant swarming mosquito cloud.
2. Rescue a few dogs. Because deep and wide is my love for dogs. This has been a long-time dream of mine since I was a teen. I still have the articles I had cut out about people who adopted rescue dogs or had non-profit ranches rehabilitating abused ones.
We have another year and a half in our rental agreement here and in the contract we are allowed no other dogs except the lab we already have. but if we buy this place down the road I would love to begin rescuing!
3. Tour Ireland. I myself am in fact Irish. One-eighth. Mom's Grandfather was an Irish-railroad-worker (now say that fast).
"If we go to Ireland then we have to go to Scotland" says my husband.
Fine. I just want to get some drinks at an authentic Irish pub and then go spot a selke.
4. Travel to see Corrie Ten Boom's childhood home, the Beje' in Harlem Holland.
Corrie Ten Boom has been my hero since I was 17. She was a rebel ringleader of the underground Dutch resistance against the Nazis during world war II. Her raw faith and vulnerable endurance through all hardships was a shining example to me during my own personal trails.
All my kids will definitely read her book "The Hiding Place" one day. I read it 3 times myself. I have always dreamed of seeing the little house with the add-ons and nonsensical nooks and crannies that she wrote of, and the secret other rooms where she bravely hid Jews when lesser men were afraid to.
Damn she was a badass.
5. Learn to swing-dance and salsa-dance... um, again (because I knew how at 20 but now somehow don't) - and (gasp) do so with my husband.
I'm not sure if this is doable while the kids are still small. pretty sure it's not. So yep, looks like we're gonna be those 40-somethings... bustin' a move on the dance-floor with our bad selves.
6. Go on a grand tip to somewhere just with my sister and I. We work great together. It would be epic.
And of course as always, some kind of natural disaster or native emergency would happen while we are on said vacay. Such is our luck when together. We know not why. But then we will do our thing of awesomeness and unite to save the world as usual.
7. Laser Hair Removal. Because I am super white, with really really dark hair... Ok ok, TMI? I'll stop
But it bears mentioning that I need that in my life. (Thanks for those stellar French genes mom).
8. I really wanna go to Africa someday.
9. Achieve zero debt.
10. Go back to Angelfire New Mexico and the Enchanted Valley. Cool story, when I was 18 my parent's and I were vacationing in Taos New Mexico and someone on the street gave us discount coupons to a ski resort up on the mountain. so we went. but it was during a drought with wild fires everywhere. once we we wound our way up the mountain, the wildfires had closed in and was raging 50 miles away in every direction so we were trapped there for 3 days. the resort was on top of the mountain in whats called the enchanted valley - the natives say its enchanted. it was a magical place!
Last year when I went with my husband Up North to our family resort (my parents used to take us there yearly since I was ten days old) I found the cabin journal on the mantel - each cabin on the resort has one. Turns out I had written in this one when I was 16. So did my then 18-year-old sister and yes I definitely called her to make fun of her hilarious teenage musings.
So anyway, while pursuing my over-a-decade-old journal entry, I read that I had wanted to travel pretty much everywhere.
Fast-forward to now. I have never been out of the country.
I did go to a private college in the big city like I had wanted, then was very sick and pregnant when I had only two classes left. I never finished those classes and defaulted on my loans. Combine that with a failed business venture - the store my husband and I tried to start-up in Minneapolis when we were 25 (it was fun and we had a good run!) - and well, we've got some debt. Only a little. Up to our eyeballs.
But I still have my dreams! And where there's a will there's a way. Hence, the bucket-list.
1. Move somewhere in the South and live there for awhile. somewhere with dry heat. Nothing humid (go home Miami) Because I live in Minnesota and we live in Winter Land forever.
I just wanna experience a year where we don't have to wear a parka to get to the mailbox for months and then humid summer comes for 2 seconds in the form of a giant swarming mosquito cloud.
2. Rescue a few dogs. Because deep and wide is my love for dogs. This has been a long-time dream of mine since I was a teen. I still have the articles I had cut out about people who adopted rescue dogs or had non-profit ranches rehabilitating abused ones.
We have another year and a half in our rental agreement here and in the contract we are allowed no other dogs except the lab we already have. but if we buy this place down the road I would love to begin rescuing!
3. Tour Ireland. I myself am in fact Irish. One-eighth. Mom's Grandfather was an Irish-railroad-worker (now say that fast).
"If we go to Ireland then we have to go to Scotland" says my husband.
Fine. I just want to get some drinks at an authentic Irish pub and then go spot a selke.
4. Travel to see Corrie Ten Boom's childhood home, the Beje' in Harlem Holland.
Corrie Ten Boom has been my hero since I was 17. She was a rebel ringleader of the underground Dutch resistance against the Nazis during world war II. Her raw faith and vulnerable endurance through all hardships was a shining example to me during my own personal trails.
All my kids will definitely read her book "The Hiding Place" one day. I read it 3 times myself. I have always dreamed of seeing the little house with the add-ons and nonsensical nooks and crannies that she wrote of, and the secret other rooms where she bravely hid Jews when lesser men were afraid to.
Damn she was a badass.
5. Learn to swing-dance and salsa-dance... um, again (because I knew how at 20 but now somehow don't) - and (gasp) do so with my husband.
I'm not sure if this is doable while the kids are still small. pretty sure it's not. So yep, looks like we're gonna be those 40-somethings... bustin' a move on the dance-floor with our bad selves.
6. Go on a grand tip to somewhere just with my sister and I. We work great together. It would be epic.
And of course as always, some kind of natural disaster or native emergency would happen while we are on said vacay. Such is our luck when together. We know not why. But then we will do our thing of awesomeness and unite to save the world as usual.
7. Laser Hair Removal. Because I am super white, with really really dark hair... Ok ok, TMI? I'll stop
But it bears mentioning that I need that in my life. (Thanks for those stellar French genes mom).
8. I really wanna go to Africa someday.
9. Achieve zero debt.
10. Go back to Angelfire New Mexico and the Enchanted Valley. Cool story, when I was 18 my parent's and I were vacationing in Taos New Mexico and someone on the street gave us discount coupons to a ski resort up on the mountain. so we went. but it was during a drought with wild fires everywhere. once we we wound our way up the mountain, the wildfires had closed in and was raging 50 miles away in every direction so we were trapped there for 3 days. the resort was on top of the mountain in whats called the enchanted valley - the natives say its enchanted. it was a magical place!
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Dairy-Free Cream of Celery Soup (Crockpot)
Mmm-mmmm... soup! The homemade kind, cooked slowly, so all those flavors have time to "marry" as they say on cooking shows.
Happy July 1st! Except I have a summer cold from hell. With all the hacking and sneezing and general gross sickness awefulness, I found myself craving some warm, comforting, creamy... celery? Figured maybe my body needed it.
So, while the boys played outside in the pool and my husband worked on his tan, it definitely felt a little off-season to be cooking up some hot wintry soup. But after this recipe being so yummy and creamy, I can see me wanting to make this all the time six months from now.
I'm not completely dairy-free, but I try not to have much dairy at all when I have a cold - it only seems to stuff me up more. So I made this soup using Almond milk. Try to buy a higher calorie kind so it's creamier. Use bone broth instead of canned and you'll really build that immunity!
Also, I looked it up on the internets, and apparently celery does boost the immune system, being high in vitamin C and anti-inflammatory. Of course, the internet also says that my symptoms indicate I have two days to live, so there's that...
Anyway, for anyone with one of those awful colds here is a warm healthy soup to comfort you.
What are your go-to foods when you get sick?
Directions:
Chop the celery, garlic, and carrots and set aside. I do this the day before and keep the veggies in containers in the fridge.
At around ten a.m. I throw them the crock pot with the liquids and butter and set it to low.
Next steam the cauliflower in a saucepan, about 5 - 7 minutes. Drain and set aside.
Mix together the starch, xanthum gum, salt, and onion powder in a small bowl.
Using a food processor, purée the cauliflower. As the mixture spins, open the top and slowly pour in the small bowl of dry mixture until well combined. You can pour in some of the crockpot liquid if this mixture starts to become too thick.
Use a spatula to pour the cauliflower purée into the crockpot. Stir to combine.
Now just let the celery and carrots soften and the flavors combine for about 7 or 8 hours, stirring occasionally.
So, while the boys played outside in the pool and my husband worked on his tan, it definitely felt a little off-season to be cooking up some hot wintry soup. But after this recipe being so yummy and creamy, I can see me wanting to make this all the time six months from now.
I'm not completely dairy-free, but I try not to have much dairy at all when I have a cold - it only seems to stuff me up more. So I made this soup using Almond milk. Try to buy a higher calorie kind so it's creamier. Use bone broth instead of canned and you'll really build that immunity!
Also, I looked it up on the internets, and apparently celery does boost the immune system, being high in vitamin C and anti-inflammatory. Of course, the internet also says that my symptoms indicate I have two days to live, so there's that...
Anyway, for anyone with one of those awful colds here is a warm healthy soup to comfort you.
What are your go-to foods when you get sick?
Recipe
Ingredients:
3 cups chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped carrots
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups chopped cauliflower
3 cups almond milk
1 cup chicken broth
2 Tbs. dairy-free butter or oil
1/4 tsp. xanthum gum
1/4 cup Tapioca starch or whole wheat flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. onion powder
pepper to taste
**note: add chicken or ground beef if you need the meat in there. Im just not a huge meat person.Directions:
Chop the celery, garlic, and carrots and set aside. I do this the day before and keep the veggies in containers in the fridge.
At around ten a.m. I throw them the crock pot with the liquids and butter and set it to low.
Next steam the cauliflower in a saucepan, about 5 - 7 minutes. Drain and set aside.
Mix together the starch, xanthum gum, salt, and onion powder in a small bowl.
Using a food processor, purée the cauliflower. As the mixture spins, open the top and slowly pour in the small bowl of dry mixture until well combined. You can pour in some of the crockpot liquid if this mixture starts to become too thick.
Use a spatula to pour the cauliflower purée into the crockpot. Stir to combine.
Now just let the celery and carrots soften and the flavors combine for about 7 or 8 hours, stirring occasionally.
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