That Surprise Third Pregnancy...

It all started a few weeks ago, when I was getting ready for the day while the boys were fighting in Buckwheat's room....

Just our normal routine. I took a preg test out of mere protocol. I knew I wasn't pregnant because I was always unpredictably late anyway. By 21 days the previous month. I knew it would read negative as I walked out of the bathroom to pull one boy off the other and deliver a few good scary mom threats.

So there I was about to finish putting on a little makeup when I casually glanced down to see... TWO LINES.

My blood went cold and I let out a few choice words in my shocked knee-jerk-reactive state (Sorry, little baby! I love you!). But I had only like a second to think because I had to run into Buckwheat's room and ref a Lego war.

"Stop hitting him! Put that down! Don't touch him!"  The pregnancy stick was still in my hand and I was waiving it at them for emphasis.

I stopped and looked at it, feeling a rush of surreal reality to my head "Oh my gosh...." I thought. "How will I do this. I already feel completely overwhelmed with two." I then got them dressed and in the stroller fast, so I could just go for a walk and process it all.

On my walk I stopped at a garage sale where, after some appropriate small-talk, I asked the two women there if a pregnancy test is ever a false positive. Maybe? Nope. Knew that. Just reeeally shocked and panicking.

There's something about the anonymity of telling important secret information to complete strangers. This blog for instance. My own family doesn't even know, lol. And hey, that's what matters.

I mean, my mom and aunt begged me not to have any more children at least not for many years, since I don't have help, much money, and I get post-partum. It's great that family cares. But sometimes the "caring" makes one feel a tad judged KWIM? Thank God the money thing is solved with our new jobs that we happened to get earlier that week. Hallelujah Thank you Jesus! 

Still, most of my family is uniquely judgmental, and not super welcoming to any changes. So there's that.

Also we actually plan to move across the country to Texas next year. The next time I have a baby I was thinking I'd be safely thousands of miles away. Whoops!

But wanna know why I'm really super shocked at finding out I'm pregnant?

1) I've only been fertile for 3 months due to extended breastfeeding.
2) Also Brandon's been working 12 to 15 hour shifts.
3) Also we use protection.
4) It took us a year and a half to conceive our first.

*Abstinence is the only sure protection kids!*

We actually have a 4-year plan. Because we are in complete control.
I wanted four years between this set of boys and the next baby. That way, everything would be more manageable.

One will be in school; we'd have more money and more living space. Also I saw my mom do it.
Two sets of two with a four year gap. Brilliant.
The older set (helped that we were girls) basically took care of what our fam used to refer to as "the little ones". My mom actually had it pretty easy by then. I was like a little 6-year old mini-mom. "Let me change her diaper, Pleeease! Can I get the bottle?" I realized as an adult how lucky my mom was in that respect. This, I decided was the life for me.

I'm not a baby-hater - I value life tremendously. But I don't have like, infinite amounts of patience either. I actually know some awesome families at our church who have 6, 7, 8, 9 kids.  I would love that if I thought I could handle it. Thanks to my 4 year plan, never again would I go through trying to nurse an infant while my hyper young toddler cycloned around us or tried to climb me. Brandon would love to have many kids, but I'm not one of those people that has any family to help me out, so I will need helpful older kids or a nanny or some sort of relief somewhere. 

Child-spacing to the rescue! Right? Yeeeeaaah....
And yet, sometimes I do think, why wait for a perfect life and world peace and all the stars to line up? I'm fertile now. Why not just have the children I want to have while I'm young? No time will ever really be perfect. 

Then I'm like, "Pfffft! What am I thinking? These things must be planned. We're not animals. We're smart adults. And my logical mind popcorns out logical words from adult-land like, "401K's. Credit Report. Insurance. Mortgages. fiscal responsibility. Shoes." 

More preg tests and a blood test confirm its for sure for sure! So this is happening! Now I just have to get used to the idea. After getting over the initial shock though I must admit I'm getting excited! We are going to be a family of five! Children are a blessing. They really are. I thank God I have these boys. And this one deserves just as much excitement and fuss made over him/her as the very first child gets.

Meet Skipper

 

 

 

 

My sweet, happy-go-lucky, mellow child. This one was still 3 weeks early but no long hospital stay so we got to get bonding right away! It was amazing.

He has the coolest name too. (Obviously its not really "Skipper") One that I've never heard anyone else have before, but everyone loves it when they hear it.
 We nursed forever. Well 19 months. But we also co-slept so it was a breeze.

Crawlin' around on mommy's bed.

He refused solids for his first nine months and was just this seriously fat exclusively-breastfed baby. .

I was so proud! I really didn't mind that he wouldn't eat those purees - he was such a pleasure to nurse, and I knew I had missed out on it with Buckwheat.

"No soup for me!" Bring me my mom!

I couldn't believe this baby was so content to just sit there in a swing or the walker and just...smile, because I wasn't used to having a healthy baby. Let me tell you, It is awesome.  

Skipper is also a bit of a home-body. He loves his books, his trains, and every shoe or boot on the planet.

A lower-energy child than Buckwheat, he is cool with observing the goings on and taking it all in.

 

Just like his brother, he is also quite the big boy for his age - they grow up so fast!

 

 

 

How to go Blonde With Black Hair (With Minimal Feelings of Trauma) What to do. What not to do.

   It's been a weird week. Dyed my black hair blonde. Gave cash to a heroin addict (which I swore I'd never do) - long story. Dined and dashed for the 1st time - another story there. Put Buckwheat in a Montessori preschool (preschool is also something I wasn't going to do) and my husband and I both got new jobs. Oh and we took down Skipper's crib since he's such a big boy who needs a big boy bed now (sniff) - almost two!       
   Man, who am I lately???
   You may look at that picture of me with orange hair and say to yourself "dang! Someone lost a bet." You would be right. I did lose a bet. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, bet your hair. Ever.
   Funny story though (kinda). It involved some wine, some kids napping, and an epic card game between me and my husband.
   I really thought I had that hand.
   Now, instead of my husband being forced to go to many pilates classes with me so I can laugh at his down-dog support his fitness endeavors, I am undergoing what feels like some sort of extreme hair surgery.
You never know how much of your identity is wrapped up in something as silly as a hair color till you change it in a big way. I wanna cry a little just thinking about my dark hair that is gone now. I have never had any desire to be blonde so this was hard to go through with! And just to let all the blondies out there know, I don't think any hair-color is better than the other - and I have some gorgeous natural blonde friends - but honestly I really think people look best with their natural color or maybe one or two shades away from it. It sure is cheapest that way. ;) Also things may not always go as planned.
For instance, this is what I wanted to happen:

 

Buuuut this is what I feel like instead.

 

   I've meandered past our living room mirror a few times only to glance some strange-haired-person's reflection out of the corner of my eye and freak out like I suddenly know jujitsu (I'm actually really impressed with my reflexes). I've also freaked out my toddler in the dead of night when one of them was crying - the crying turned to bewildered half-asleep shock because at that time my hair was a glowing orange.
   Anyway though, all my life my hair has naturally been some shade of dark brown or black depending on the season. I get it from my dark-skinned black-haired French mamma.

So first off, *a warning and disclaimer*:
I am taking no responsibility for what happens to anyone's hair if they botch some hair after reading this. I am not a professional, and these are just my personal opinions. You need to know that if your hair is this dark of color naturally (like mine) and for some odd reason you have a sudden desire to go completely blonde, well, you are in for a lot of work. Sorry for the bad news but if you are like me and one of those people who hates sitting still and getting your hair done - girl - step away from the bleach.

Here is my natural hair color:


Winter Vacation 2014

And here is my hair in the summer, when it's on the browner side.



Summer 2013. That piece by my face is a highlight.

 

    First we got two (since my hair is long) boxes of bleach. This was my first mistake. I thought I'd "help" out the hairstylists by getting it half-way there first. Also way cheaper than getting it done twice at a salon right? Not really.
    What we did wrong again was start on the ends, and not comb it through while we were working. Other than that we just followed the box's directions. 
You need to always comb through because my hair turned out very orange on the top and lighter on the bottom, while also having horizontal strips of different shades in the middle like Saturn's rings.
    Next what we did right was not go to a cheap salon like Fantastic Sam's or Great Clips (I have gone to both a b-jillion times and it never turns out right).  They are fine for basic things yes, but looking at my multi-ringed orange hair, this was not to be fooled around with.
   On to the Salon! When I remember my entrance I feel like it happened in slow motion. I walked in like a sheep to the slaughter and as I made my way to waiting area I felt pretty much every head turn and stare at me like a failed science project. Totally not offensive though - it was pretty darn bright after all.
    Once seated in a chair in the back, I had about 5 hair-dressers around me (they kept calling each other over) as they discussed a plan of action. I asked "why can't you just cover it with bleach and leave it for a really long time? The dare was to go bleach blonde." They were almost offended. One woman muttered something about me being a "hair civilian", as they tried to explain to me in child-like format that different hair follicles will respond differently because everyone's hair is unique and special, and they didn't know exactly what that could do to my specific color. It could mean strawberry blonde, or ashy but either way it would be extremely damaged. I rather liked the snob factor - it was just further proof that these master's of color knew their stuff. I asked "is there some waiver I can sign so you can do something extreme so I don't have to come in twice?" Seriously, rounding up a sitter was tough! and I did not want to come back for more sitting.  A few eyes rolled, but some were like "no, wait, she should probably do that."



    They concluded that the only right thing to do was to fine-comb a ton of highlights, then lowlight the rest in-between the foils, so as to get those color-blotched-rings out.

    Observe:



Everything not in a foil was low-lighted.

The hairstylist told me she had never put in so many foils in over twenty years. It took over four hours of mind-numbing sitting.
Here was the finished product:

Of course in order to keep my street cred in tact, I still have to go lighter or my word will mean nothing forever!
And yet, I just cant handle sitting still for it. Will I go lighter? Time will tell. Either way I'm for sure dying it back in a matter of months. I mean lets face it - I am and always will be a brunette.


 



Meet Buckwheat

 



 

   Born exactly 2 months before his due date, but you would never know it. He is now a brawny large and in-charge 3 year old who is actually pretty big for his age.
 

 

Buckwheat (as previously stated - Buckwheat is not his real name) lived in the NICU for many weeks when he was born, in which I was only allowed to hold him maybe 1 hour a day. Combine that with the fact that I just barely got to nurse him, and ended up with severe post-partum - I'd say he and I had a rocky start. He showed me little affection until he was 3, yet wanted constant attention and stimulation. In fact if he was actually affectionate back to me, that used to be my biggest sign that he was coming down with some sort of illness.

He was the most unhappy baby ever, poor thing! with painful acid reflux, he screamed at the top of his lungs for 3, sometimes 4 hours straight. all I could do was hold him, as the meds did little to help. His big turnaround was mobility. He didn't walk till 13 months, after which I realized that half of his screaming was because he was so large-motor-skilled that he was literally meant to be in the walk/running stage and anything else was like torture for him (vs the baby who happily lays cooing). Now that he's a toddler, he is much happier!

 

At 18 months

  Buckwheat has a reeeally big personality. A fearless, stubborn, natural-born leader. He is loud, extroverted and very out-going. Here he is getting the party started on New Year's Eve - first on the dance-floor.

 

Bustin' a move - 2014

 

He is also hilarious. And a total charmer. My mom likes to call him "a ham on rye".

 

Mister Performer. Two and a half years old.
 

He has the energy of ten toddlers. When the energy is too much, sometimes he will just run in circles.  Yes he is wild, but he is also so much fun. Something about all that life in him really inspires me.

The child does not stop. Ever. Except to sleep.

 

Nothin' like getting your nap on mid-chew.

In a nutshell, he reminds me of what Huckleberry Finn would have been like at three. Although my sister actually likened him to "Denis the Menace".

Despite his abrasiveness and rough ways. Buckwheat has an uncanny way of catching me off-guard with sudden sweetness and focused caring. If he thinks I am sick or sad he will get in my face and be dripping with tender empathy saying "You sick? Awwww, it's okay mommy! You not feel good - an' I wanna protect you!"

 

 

A few months ago, we went to New Mexico just the two of us to visit my mom for 1 week. It was glorious! We actually bonded like never before, and our relationship has been closer ever since.

 

 

Meet The Fam!

We are a growing family with two little boys....

 

My husband Brandon works as an installer at a marble company. He enjoys occasionally  flipping houses, playing his guitar, and making furniture.
He is an amaaaaazing father. :)

We got married two months after we met, and have enjoyed being married for five awesome years. I'll have to write a post on our story sometime....

Here we are in Miami on our 5 yr anniversary

He works a lot and the boys are a hand-full! So We keep things fun with our weekly dates. Notice our backseat...the ah, wine in place of the baby. Super necessary sometimes!

 

Toddler Moms - What's Your Escape Plan?

I have two toddlers, so when I have a free, unscheduled day I think of all the endless things we could do... the park, zoo, so-and-so's house, that newly renovated play-place. I get all excited until I think, "Wait, how will I get them to leave when it's time to go?"  I'm exhausted just thinking about it and my heart just skipped a beat.  

My three year old could win a medal for his tantrums and while I love him to pieces, and am extremely proud of his many amazing qualities; he is just one of those children that are "more" to handle. But that's another post for another time. (Shout out to parents of the strong-willed!) Those kid places are all fine in theory but what about when it's time to say good-bye and get them home? 

Meltdowns.  World War VIII people.

   What? A new splash pad in my city? Yesssss - I'm so there it's insane. Oh wait, no I'm not. Because I'm so daunted by the thought of attempting to take them home that all fun-appeal is lost. Images surface of my 3 year old running into traffic shouting "NO!  I don't wanna goooo!"  While I fight with an (oddly strong) arched-backed 1 1/2 year old into his car seat as he screams into my ear. 

  I wish I could just hire someone to come help get them in the car when it's time to leave just for 10 minutes. "The NEW ten-minute nanny!" That could be a thing. Actually it really should be.  So while I wait for that to take off I need a plan now. 

   We have actually never been to Chucky Cheese.  Simply because I shudder at the thought of tantrums combined with flickering lights/chaotic noise.  I also will not go to the mall or a grocery store alone with both boys, unless I have my husband or another adult for help. But that makes things kind of limiting for the boys and I.

How I would love to set off some kind of white smoke bomb while I scoop them and their stuff into the car so they're too bewildered to tantrum. Kidding! Obviously that's not going to happen, but I do welcome any safe ideas that are equally brilliant.  So what do you do to get that coveted smooth place-to-car transition?

 

Low Sugar Frosting with Flavor Variations

This is what I make when I bake cupcakes (or cake). I always want them slathered in frosting because I love frosting, SO MUCH.  But then I think about how it's basically pure sugar (so good) and I'm like "Oh yeah, that makes me feel like passing out an hour later and for the rest of the day. Shoot...".  And yet I till want it.

I have this weird blood sugar thing where if I eat some sugar in the morning, during the day I get reeeeeally weak and shaky.  It's not so bad if I eat sugar at night because I'm in bed like a kid sliding into base before I can feel any effects. I just know that sugar and I are like a fish and a bird that really want to be together, but its just not happening.

But this awesome recipe is one of the sneaky ways I've ensured that I'll be able to have my cake and eat it too and not feel sick later. Also no weird stevia aftertaste because of the succanat.

It's super versatile! Use it by itself as is, or as a base for other sauces and spreads.

1. Make the Powdered Sugar:  You will need a machine for fine grinding. (I use a coffee grinder).

• Powdered Stevia
• Succanat

In a one-to-one ratio, grind it to a fine powder until you can get about a cup. sometimes this can take awhile if using a small grinder.  Put it all into one container and shake/stir to blend the sugars together. Your powdered sugar will look brown because of the succanat. 

      2.  Make the Frosting/ Sauce:

• 1 Cup of the above powdered sugar
• 1/4 tsp. xanthum gum.
• 1 cup cottage cheese
• 2 Tbs. organic whipped butter
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 Tbs. Almond milk as needed

Method ~
Combine the powdered sugar and xanthum gum and set aside. In a saucepan, melt the cottage cheese on medium heat, stirring occasionally. Once the bits of cheese are all melted, add the vanilla. turn off the heat and add the butter, stirring till melted in. Now sift in the sugar mixture. Only add the milk if you want it thinner. That's it! So simple.

Variations:
There are so many! You can make it a cinnamon frosting if making pumpkin cupcakes, or add in any other extracts you desire; lemon, coconut, maple, you get the idea.
For chocolate frosting, add 1 Tbs. unsweetened cocoa powder to the sugar, and 1/4 Cup chocolate chips in place of the butter.