That Surprise Third Pregnancy...

It all started a few weeks ago, when I was getting ready for the day while the boys were fighting in Buckwheat's room....

Just our normal routine. I took a preg test out of mere protocol. I knew I wasn't pregnant because I was always unpredictably late anyway. By 21 days the previous month. I knew it would read negative as I walked out of the bathroom to pull one boy off the other and deliver a few good scary mom threats.

So there I was about to finish putting on a little makeup when I casually glanced down to see... TWO LINES.

My blood went cold and I let out a few choice words in my shocked knee-jerk-reactive state (Sorry, little baby! I love you!). But I had only like a second to think because I had to run into Buckwheat's room and ref a Lego war.

"Stop hitting him! Put that down! Don't touch him!"  The pregnancy stick was still in my hand and I was waiving it at them for emphasis.

I stopped and looked at it, feeling a rush of surreal reality to my head "Oh my gosh...." I thought. "How will I do this. I already feel completely overwhelmed with two." I then got them dressed and in the stroller fast, so I could just go for a walk and process it all.

On my walk I stopped at a garage sale where, after some appropriate small-talk, I asked the two women there if a pregnancy test is ever a false positive. Maybe? Nope. Knew that. Just reeeally shocked and panicking.

There's something about the anonymity of telling important secret information to complete strangers. This blog for instance. My own family doesn't even know, lol. And hey, that's what matters.

I mean, my mom and aunt begged me not to have any more children at least not for many years, since I don't have help, much money, and I get post-partum. It's great that family cares. But sometimes the "caring" makes one feel a tad judged KWIM? Thank God the money thing is solved with our new jobs that we happened to get earlier that week. Hallelujah Thank you Jesus! 

Still, most of my family is uniquely judgmental, and not super welcoming to any changes. So there's that.

Also we actually plan to move across the country to Texas next year. The next time I have a baby I was thinking I'd be safely thousands of miles away. Whoops!

But wanna know why I'm really super shocked at finding out I'm pregnant?

1) I've only been fertile for 3 months due to extended breastfeeding.
2) Also Brandon's been working 12 to 15 hour shifts.
3) Also we use protection.
4) It took us a year and a half to conceive our first.

*Abstinence is the only sure protection kids!*

We actually have a 4-year plan. Because we are in complete control.
I wanted four years between this set of boys and the next baby. That way, everything would be more manageable.

One will be in school; we'd have more money and more living space. Also I saw my mom do it.
Two sets of two with a four year gap. Brilliant.
The older set (helped that we were girls) basically took care of what our fam used to refer to as "the little ones". My mom actually had it pretty easy by then. I was like a little 6-year old mini-mom. "Let me change her diaper, Pleeease! Can I get the bottle?" I realized as an adult how lucky my mom was in that respect. This, I decided was the life for me.

I'm not a baby-hater - I value life tremendously. But I don't have like, infinite amounts of patience either. I actually know some awesome families at our church who have 6, 7, 8, 9 kids.  I would love that if I thought I could handle it. Thanks to my 4 year plan, never again would I go through trying to nurse an infant while my hyper young toddler cycloned around us or tried to climb me. Brandon would love to have many kids, but I'm not one of those people that has any family to help me out, so I will need helpful older kids or a nanny or some sort of relief somewhere. 

Child-spacing to the rescue! Right? Yeeeeaaah....
And yet, sometimes I do think, why wait for a perfect life and world peace and all the stars to line up? I'm fertile now. Why not just have the children I want to have while I'm young? No time will ever really be perfect. 

Then I'm like, "Pfffft! What am I thinking? These things must be planned. We're not animals. We're smart adults. And my logical mind popcorns out logical words from adult-land like, "401K's. Credit Report. Insurance. Mortgages. fiscal responsibility. Shoes." 

More preg tests and a blood test confirm its for sure for sure! So this is happening! Now I just have to get used to the idea. After getting over the initial shock though I must admit I'm getting excited! We are going to be a family of five! Children are a blessing. They really are. I thank God I have these boys. And this one deserves just as much excitement and fuss made over him/her as the very first child gets.