The Reverse Bucket List. You know you want one.

Everybody has stuff they just have to do. What about the stuff you just know you would never wanna do and yet, everyone else seems to think its awesome? This is your reverse bucket list. (Also known as the poor man's bucket list).

Lack motivation but still wanna feel like you hit some goals? This would be a good place to start. Tell your mom you've got goals.

And maybe check in on your dying day just to make sure you can successfully cross these suckers off, with a sense of pride and accomplishment, knowing that hey - you did right by yourself.

Behold: a list of things I fully intend on never doing. 

1.  Go to New York. New York City to be exact. I've never been. I feel no great urge to visit Wall Street, the Statue of Liberty, or the Empire State Building. Broadway? Ok you got me there, but it's not worth it when I just picture lots of concrete, bright flashing lights and way too many people.

2.  Disney World.  Also Disney Land.  Though I could actually see wanting to do this pre-kids. Like when it was just Brandon and me. But now? Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

If you have toddlers, you feel me on this... This is a parent's version of hell. (Unless your children are those robotic personality-less types - I've seen them and know they exist!). But let's review the thrills involved for funsies: Hearing your kids have the gimmes during every money-trap, greasy fatty fried food at every turn, lines and more lines for standing around in, losing children, disgusting public bathrooms everywhere, obnoxious life-sized cartoon characters and general sensory overload.  The realization that you spent thousands of dollars for this.

3.  Climb a Mountain. Any mountain.  Hiking in general yes. I just don't need to get to the top.

4.  Anything to do with outer space. I hear they don't have air up there.

5. Sky diving. I don't hate myself. So no, jumping out of an airplane has no appeal. Somehow I just don't have that strong urge to exit an aircraft at 20,000 feet. But check back in March if I still live in this God-forsaken state without a vacation. At that point in the year, I usually don't know who I am anymore.
Oh but para-gliding. LOVE that idea.

6.  Get a tattoo. I have never had any desire to get me some ink. But don't be offended if you're like, covered in tattoos or something. Stay awhile, let's be friends. And know that part of me does respect your long-term commitment to whatever it was that you got branded on you for life.

7.  Go to Vagas.  Slot machines. The indoors. A lack of cool history. Just ew.

8.  Name a star. Hmmmmmmm... cuz that's not a money trap.

9.  Get up before 6:30 every day for two weeks. Or some crap like that. Okay, so at the end of this scenario, I do not look like the winner here. I look... Tired I guess?

10.  Own my business. Sounds like a lotta work to me. And math. Not my forte.

11.  See the pyramids. I'm almost embarrassed to not care about this one. Yet I don't.

12.  Run with the Bulls in Spain. Spain yes, but I feel bad for the poor Bulls (sniff)!

13.  Drive a Ferrari. Don't care.

13.  Attend Burning Man. Nothing about Nevada appeals to me.  A massive party with bands and drugs in the desert? Yay. Not.

I can cross so many of these off my list now, and I feel good about that.