I always thought I'd be the fun, laid back mom. I mean, I was a nanny in my youth and also a camp counselor - and the kids adored me. Not much bothered me. I was always down for fun! I knew how to connect with kids, make them laugh and keep their interest. Back then I had energy for days!
When I was a personal care assistant in my early 20's I used to watch this autistic boy who would often run away out of his house in frustration with his family. He would literally run away, just take off running down the street. But I was in track and field and enjoyed a good distance run.... I'd show up running along-side him. "No big deal!" I'd huff cheerily. "We can run. My shift doesn't end for hours. I actually need to get my run in for the day!" His parents loved me because the others before me had quit right away.
I remember thinking to myself, "I should have boys one day...I'd probly be great at keeping up with their energy." Let's laugh about that for a moment.
And as a camp counselor, I would sneak my group of 8 girls into the mess hall late at night for some hot chocolate. I'd duck and roll from tree to tree for dramatic effect on our sneaky way there. Or, I'd have all of them blindfolded and stand in a circle while brushing our teeth - and it was then we would each have a turn to tell our most embarrassing secret ever, mid-bush of course!
All this to say that kids I used to watch - they loved me. And so I merrily assumed I would be this same fun person as a mom.
Guess who I'm not? the fun mom. I did not end up being that cool, laid back super fun to be with mom. Instead, I'm more like a drill sergeant in a zoo. That's the reality.
Now? A word on the energy thing I used to know and love....
Now as soon as the day hits about 7pm I feel like I've been run over by a truck, and my patience is GONE. I'm stressed out. I'm tired.
The thing about kids is when you're the one raising them, you gotta lay down the law - especially with boys! Maybe two or three times a week I get told by them that I'm such a mean mom. Mean for making them read a book, empty the dishwasher, or taking away a desert privilege, or whatever boundary that was last inflicted upon them.
The thing is, I'm out to make sure they don't turn out to be jerks, and that doesn't work if I'm their cool fun friend. I wish it did! But it doesn't.
When I was a camp counselor or a nanny, I never really thought "how can I make sure he turns out to be a good father." or "I'm bound and determined to make sure this girl is able to read at college level when she's in high school." In fact I probly didn't care too much about any of their futures.
Now I have kids I truly care about. And it shows. They get hen-pecked - by me. They get discipline and rules. So I'm just gonna own it - I'm not the fun mom.
They do get lots of love. kisses, encouragement and bedtime stories abound here. Hopefully, by being not-friends with my kids now, we can be the best of friends later, in twenty years. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment