I've been asked more than once if I recommend having kids close together or would I have preferred to space them out. Well what's done is done. I will always try to look on the bright side about our kids' spacing though even when I am having a rough day. Some days I am thanking my lucky stars that they are close in age. Other days I am thinking, "was I crazy???"
My sister has just two kids spaced 5 years apart. the older one can watch the younger, so they get out more often than we do. However, the kids don't really enjoy the same activities (at least for now).
But truthfully there is good and bad, any way you slice it.
I say with love that our firstborn is a total maniac. He is like a wild jungle man that was raised by animals. Even though I am the one raising him....(not really sure how that works but somehow it makes sense).
My point is that if your first is a wild child, maybe do think about spacing them out a bit if you don't have much of a support system.
If you have a great network of family and friends willing to help you out, go for it!
Observe some pictures below to get an ideal of their normal activity level:
My boys are happy and energetic. They are wildly curious and into everything. They fight way too much but this stage is also passing way too fast. That said...
Want the good news first? Here are some Pro's:
Clothes - It used to be that Buckwheat was this huge 2-year old and Skipper was a small 4 month old baby, and there was a cavernous difference between their sizes. I was saving the older boy's clothes in bags marked by size for the younger one. Now I kinda like how I can sometimes just throw Buckwheat's outgrown clothes right across the room into Skipper's drawer. As they've gotten older they have become shockingly close in size.
Activities - I don't have to entertain them in two different ways. They're into the same stuff. Obsessed with the same show ("Blaze"). Able to understand and enjoy the same book that I'm reading them. The alphabet is being learned in our house two at a time. They mow the lawn together with their toy lawn mowers and ride bikes with training wheels up and down the driveway. It's so much fun to see my boys really enjoy each other as peers.
Socialization - I love that my boys have a built-in best friend. Nobody is ever suffers from loneliness around here. They are constantly learning to share and be in relationship.
Food - They eat mostly the same stuff. I don't have to serve up baby purees while giving a toddler mac-an 'cheese. I did at one point, but only for a few months. And if we go out somewhere I can just pack the same snacks to give them.
Potty-training - My 2 and 4 year olds are basically learning the toilet stuff together. and Skipper is doing it way earlier because he wants to be like his big brother. It's double the mess but hey at least I wont be wiping butts for years and years on end. I'm all for double-time.
Some of the Pro's to having kids close together are also cons....
Not so easy to go out - It's much harder when the hubs and I want a date-night to find someone who is willing to watch 3 small children than it was to find someone when we had just one kid. And back then there was the other option of just being like "hey, can we drop him off while we go out?"
Those days are over. You just can do that with 3. Because that would be like unloading the circus at said friends' doorstep. Now when your kids are watched, it will have to be at your house. And your list of available sitters will have dwindled down to those people who "have it in them" to deal with that kind of kid-volume.
You wanna go to target with 3 kids under 4 by yourself? hahahahaha - No. You will end up regretting it. Only make a target trip as the sole adult if some urgent medication is needed. Its a really stressful event that requires lots of planning. Bring an I-pad for the oldest. Snacks galore. An extra change of clothes for each - stuff always happens.
Have a plan for when both toddlers run away from you in a different direction. And do wear the baby.
When I was childless, I used to see kids in stores misbehaving and think. "ha! Not mine. It's all about the training and discipline. My future toddlers will be well-behaved because I will have raised and trained them to be." Now I know it just doesn't work like that. Mine are the ones running wildly down the chip isle. It's just the personalities they were given and no amount of "good-raising" can control two years old.
Noise - It is so loud here. Often I have a screaming baby while two little boys are trying to talk to me simultaneously. It's loud in the car. It's loud in the kitchen. It's loud during meals and baths. It's just loud.
Clothes - I just don't have the time to dress them super cute like I used to. When it was just Buckwheat, I used to have him lookin pretty fly in his cute little outfits. Now rarely does the bottom match the top for both boys and the baby.
Mountainous Laundry - With the constant changes of clothes from potty-training, infant blow-outs, and just getting dirty... omg is it a lot. sometimes I feel I am drowning in clothing piles.
Trouble - They do this together. And it can be pretty ugly. It wasn't as bad with just one getting into mischief. You may think to yourself, "how can they break a weight-set?" or, " surely they cant dismantle the chandelier". Or, "That thing is on top of the fridge so it's safe. I know that as fact." (I could go on). But you need to know that when they team up, they will find a way.
In the end. It's what works for your family as far as budget and personality. What do you really want? You might not actually know what you want until you start having children. I personally want more the more I have. Funny how that works.
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